You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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