that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
