Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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