I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
