go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
