Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
