you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
