I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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