I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
