I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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