i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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