Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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