oh god the rape fog is back!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
