are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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