break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I understand Curling. That high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
