i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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