He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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