Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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