Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
