I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I faked an abortion last night.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
