You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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