Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
wow bdsm is so cute
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
