Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
