you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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