Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
