her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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