Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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