Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
