After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
