real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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