just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
