A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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