youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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