Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
