Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
