You just made me feel so damn special
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
