god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
