she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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