She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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