i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
