he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
