I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My dick has a subreddit
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
