There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
