Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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