hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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