Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
