Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
