I like to think it a success when the cops are called
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
