he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
