I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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