so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
