This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
