Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
