David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
